My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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