some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
