my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
