So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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