y did u give ur computer a hand job?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
