someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
