Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
