He is such a slut. More and more my type.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
