Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
