i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
