I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
