a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
