just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
