DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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