Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I need to align my fucking chakras
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
