either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
