yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
