WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
