I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
