is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
