Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
