my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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