If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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