dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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