In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
