I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
