You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
