Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
