My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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