When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
