Taylor Swift is so right about you.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
