this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
