There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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