No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
