last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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