happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My vagina is very pro this idea
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize