i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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