I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
