Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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