I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
