yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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