he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
