Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize