I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
