dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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