This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
