I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
