I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
