hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
