i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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