Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
