Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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