If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
