Duck Duck Cougar?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
