I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
