What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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